IT’S BEEN A WEEK


Ang bilis ng mga araw pero parang ang tagal na ng isang linggo. Ito ang hirap sakin pag wala akong pasok at natataon na ako lang mag-isa at wala akong makausap. Maraming pumapasok sa utak ko. Ang dami ko ng posts and rants dito this week at lahat yun ay parte na ng nakaraan. 

Nakaraan na pwede pang balikan para maging inspirasyon sa hinaharap at maging aral para hindi na mangyari man ulit. I may have so many posts here and stories but I don’t put all details that’s happening in my everyday life. I just tell highlights and whatever that comes to my mind. Hindi na ako yung tulad ng dati na basta may mangyari, kwento agad. Depende. Pag nasa mood ako. Like now. Nasa mood akong magkwento ng magkwento kasi wala akong inaalalang homework or kahit anong requirements. 

Ano ba talagang nangyari? Yan siguro yung tanong na namumuo sa mga isip niyo. At siguro napapa-isip kayo kung bakit ganyan na naman ang title ko. Well honestly, last week break-up. Wala pang one week nagkabalikan ulit. Reason of break-up: I don’t want to talk about. Tapos na. Hayaan na lang. Reason of saving the relationship: we still love each other. Yun lang naman yun eh. Yun lang naman ang laging point ko. At yun ang lagi niyong nababasa sa mga posts ko. There’s no reason for me to let go if there’s still love. Napuno lang siguro ako last week at napagod sa paulit-ulit na rason kaya muntikan ng tuluyang masira ang relasyon namin. [I provide privacy so I won’t mention his name.]

When I ended it, I just said na tapos na. Kasi nag-explain na ko eh. I mean nasabi ko na lahat ng gusto kong sabihin at natanong ko na lahat ng gusto kong malaman. Though ayokong maglet go, hindi na lang ako nagpumilit pa. Kasi nung time na yun parang hindi talaga ko satisfied sa reason niya eh. Ayoko na lang ng mahaba pang usapan kaya sige. Nakipaghiwalay na lang ako. I was expecting that situation to happen. Ewan ko kung bakit kutob ko na. Dahil sa nangyari na rin before kaya parang nasanay ako? Siguro. Kaya nung araw na yun hanggang sa mga sumunod pang araw, okay lang ako. I just felt the pain when I remembered everything that had happened nung kami pa, nung mga panahong hindi kami busy, at yung mga araw na sobrang updated kami sa isa’t isa. Though I’m hurting inside, there’s a little hope na one day, everything will be back to normal. Hindi ako nagkulang sa pagdadasal. Ako pa. Lahat ng ginagawa ko pinapasa-Diyos ko. Kasi alam kong hindi ako ganun kalakasan para maghandle ng problema lalo na kung ako lang mag-isa. So there. 

After that break-up, hindi na ko nag expect ng kahit ano from him. Kahit text or anything. Hindi na. But I was really surprised when I got a message from him the following night. So naisip ko na, may problema lang talaga siya kaya naisipan niyang iwan ako ulit. Kasi I can still feel his love. Andun yung effort na kahit isang text lang yun, nagawa pa rin niya. It only means na naisip pa rin niya ko kahit papano. And from there I asked God for another sign. At kung ano man yung sign na yun, sikreto ko na lang. Haha! Basta pag nangyari yung sign na yun, there’s still a way for us to be together again.

Days came and that very moment happened. Naging kami ulit. Parang tanga lang diba?! We ended our relationship tapos wala pang isang linggo kami na ulit. Nakakatawa kung iisipin ng iba at pag naiisip ko but when I think of it deeply, tatlo agad yung nakikita kong reason. It’s God’s will, an answered prayer, and we really love each other. 

Hay nako. Now that I gave him another chance, I just hope one thing: to be careful with it. I explained it naman to him already. Nakapag-usap naman na kami after all so I guess my job is to do my obligations as a girlfriend. I know I did. Even before. I don’t ask for anything in return. Love, trust, understanding and communication lang sapat na yun. Time? Of course. But I’m not asking for too much. I know how busy he is, me too. Kaya I only expect a little time from him. Kahit maikling conversation lang okay na sakin.

I hope this is the last. Kasi hindi ko alam kung hanggang saan pa aabot ang pasensya ko pag dating sa ganitong bagay. 

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